100 Days of Weight Loss: TODAY is Start Day

As I mentioned above, I've been searching for 'motivation' almost as much as I've been searching for Skinny.

In my quest, I came across several books that I will be using a Tools to help my weight-loss/mental rejuvenation.

One such book is: "100 Day of Weight Loss: The Secret to being successul on Any Diet Plan" by Linda Spangle.

This book is a Daily Motivator to help keep you successful in your weight loss efforts. And it's 100 days of daily activities to complete.

Here's my starting point!  Create a Vision for the future - write down at least 10 reasons why you want to lose weight and maintain your success. Here we go, in no particular order (and excuse my vanity, but it's definitely one driving reason.)

I) I don't want to be the FAT mom. I want my kids to be proud of me and to not feel embarassed by their Fat, Overweight mom.

2) I want to be able to DO things with my kids. I don't want my weight to hold me back from doing things with them (like being able to take my Son skiing, which I can't do right now as my calves won't allow a ski boot to close.)

3) I want to be able to shop in 'normal' sized stores - I want to be able to buy clothes from The Gap or from H&M. I hate having to shop only at Plus Sized stores.

4)I want to sit on my bum and bring my knees to my chin and be able to wrap my arms around my legs. I know it sounds stupid, but I've NEVER been able to do that before.

5) I want to be able to sit on the 'inside' seat on the Train - I don't want to only be able to sit on the end, so my fat butt can spill off the seat.

6) I want my husband to be proud of me and to be able to introduce me to co-workers without being embarassed.
7) I want to get a Tummy Tuck and a Breast Lift and I can't do that at this weight.

8) I want to get my wedding rings re-designed, and losing enough weight to necessitate this will make it much easier to convince my husband to do.

9) I want to feel pretty and be comfortable in my own skin.

10) I want to be able to cross my legs and have them stay crossed and I want to be able to cross my legs under a table.

11) I want to be able to wear a skirt and not be worried about my legs/cankles. And I don't want to have to worry about my thighs chaffing from rubbing together.

12) I want to have PRETTY matching bras and underwear and actually be proud to show them off to DH (instead of hiding under my clothes or with the lights off.)

13) I would like to actually have pictures taken of me, instead of hiding from the camera.  I want to smile and mean it when the camera comes around, not worry about my double chin showing

And my number one reason to lose weight I want to prove to myself and everyone close to me that I can DO IT, I am not a quitter, I can finish the things that I start, that I'm not a lazy, useless blob and that I can be successful.

WHEW...and that clearly shows I need to address more of the internal issues that are plaguing me.

Changing the outside by changing the inside first

I want to feel ashamed that I've been absent for SO LONG, but I'm CHOOSING not to feel this way.  Because, no matter how long I've been gone and how bad I've been, I've come back.  And getting up after I've fallen is a lot better than not getting back up at all.

So, I'm back!  I'm going to do my very best to stay for awhile this time.

My commitment and motivation are at an all time high right now.  Not because I'm going great, quite the opposite actually, I'm doing horribly in the weight loss category.  But I've finally chosen (there's a theme here) to shake this black cloud that has been following me since April 2010.

In my efforts to find motivation, inspiration, whatever you want to call it...I stumbled across two very significant weight loss 'tools' that actually ended up being one in the same.  Googling 'weight loss motivation' led me to the Pasta Queen wesie.  Within the same hour, pulling up 'weight loss books' at Kobo Books I was directed to 'Half Assed: A Weight Loss Memoir' by Jeanette Fulda.  Imagine my surprised when I discovered that Pasta Queen was the author of 'Half Assed.'

I'm not going to go into too much detail, as it's not relevant to anyone but me, BUT...this was a truly motivational book for me.  I actually sat with my blackberry beside me and wrote down quotes and phrases that I found impactful, so I could refer to them.

I also sat down to write 'my story' in which I started from the beginning to figure out where this obesity has come from.  I realize I need to change my insides before it will reflect on the outside.  I'm taking the steps to do that now.

The best quote I got from the book 'Half-Assed' was "People wait for motivation to find them, but they need to go out and find motivation." And "You just have to do it, even though you don't want to."

I don't want to do this, but I have to...I have to do it for my health, for my mental well-being and for my family.  The choice is to take control of my life or to sit here and let my wonderful life pass me by...and when it comes down to those two choices, I want to live and I want to enjoy my life.