After months and months (and years and years really!) I've finally had MY epiphany.
My family went away this past weekend Skiing. It was a wonderful family weekend despite the downpour we received on the Saturday, while we all sat inside watching the snow melt away, wondering if we were actually going to make it skiing.
Sunday morning saw 8.5 inches of fresh powder...meaning we were 'going skiing!'
I was SO NERVOUS as we got to the ski hill. To be 100% honest, I hadn't skiied in over 4.5 years, cause the last time I had skiied I *barely* (and I do mean just barely) got my ski boots done up around my calf.
Two babies and about 45 pounds heavier, I did not think I would be able to rent a pair of boots that would do up around my legs. I was nervous, upset, disgusted...you name the gamut of negative emotions and I was feeling them.
When we got to the rental desk, I was ashamed to admit, in front of all my family, to the attendant that I didn't think they would have boots to fit me. The guy handing out the boots was so nice, he whispered to me 'No problem, I got you covered.' I was SUPER skeptical, but he said he guaranteed they would fit...which was a good thing, cause had then not, I would be asking for my money back.
Low and behold he was right, they DID fit! Hooray, I was going skiing. I still had to admit to the guy handling the actual skis how much I weighed, and that to was mortifying.
But, we got outside to a sunny and glorious day. My husband and one of my babies were all geared up and off we went.
I was MUCH more out of shape than I expected, and lugging around this additional 90 pounds of unwanted weight slowed me down (thankfully, my 2.5 year old didn't notice we weren't going as fast as we could've been.)
But my epiphany came as my daughter and I were riding the chair lift...I WANT to be able to do things like this with my kids. I absolutely do not want to be worrying about my weight, worrying if it will slow me down or even stop me from doing certain activities with my kids.
This CANNOT and WILL NOT happen again, where I worry for days about whether or not I can participate in activities. It almost happened, that my weight would've prevented me from being a part of my daughter's first time on skiis, her first time riding a chair lift, her first giggles as she said 'Faster Mommy, Faster.'
I CANNOT let my weight hinder me any longer, I can't let these 'First' moment potentially slip me by because I haven't had the ability to change my weight.
So today marks the start of my NEW and HEALTHY lifestyle. Next December, I want to be able to get back on skiis, to be able to wear a nice snowsuit, to not be winded as I help my children up and down the ski hills. I'm not letting life pass me by anymore!
It took a goofy guy, in mint green sunglasses to show me that it's in my power not to lose out on life, and I'm going to do everything in my power to ensure that never happens again!